Things I want my son to know
Since becoming a father, I’ve thought a lot about what I’m going to teach my child.
That’s really the great, and scary, thing about parenthood, isn’t it? You can raise your children the way you see fit, God help you.
Sick of a society where no one has manners? I sure am. But at least I can teach my children to have excellent manners.
Tired of the rat race and lives spent chasing big-screen televisions and SUVs with fancy hubcaps? You can teach your kid how to live a different kind of life.
Want to take your children trick or treating in August? What, besides local ordinances, is there to stop you?
I have a few lessons in mind for my son, but - as you all know - tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.
So let me get them out there, in case I’m not around. I trust those of you that know me will pass them on to him.
Nothing good can come from appearing on a reality television show.
If you go to hug someone, and you can tell that they probably aren’t the hugging type, it’s better to just go ahead and do it and avoid that awkward dance people do when they aren’t sure whether they want to hug.
The world is full of annoying people who don’t care that they get you so flustered that it ruins your day. It’s a rare person who can learn to ignore them, but if you can you’ll live to be 100.
Seersucker, yes. Bow ties, no.
Those on the extreme right and the extreme left have one thing in common - they have appointed themselves to tell others how to live their lives. Avoid them.
You will be wrong often. Be the rare male who can admit it.
N.C. State University will never have a better basketball team than the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Take solace in the fact that we are good, and they are evil.
Oatmeal helps with cholesterol. So do apples.
The way things are going, your generation will barely be able to read or write. Learn to do both and you’ll be ahead of the game.
Lots of guys like to shoot the ball. Most of them don’t know how to rebound and defend. Learn how to rebound and defend.
In this family, you take care of your parents when they get old. Remember that.
If you start smoking cigarettes, you won’t have to worry about lung cancer. I’ll have someone kill you.
Your mother makes grilled cheese sandwiches in the toaster. This is insane. Use the skillet. And lots of butter.
Buy life insurance early.
Please don’t date a girl who carries a tiny dog around in a handbag.
Billions of fools say gazillions of stupid things each day. The only words that matter are said by the people you love.
Always call “pick” on a screen.
Flirting requires subtlety. Right now, your flirting is not too subtle.
The red pickup truck in the driveways is yours. Be careful, because the clutch sticks. And remember that any girl that won’t date you because you drive a truck made in 1996 isn’t worth having.
Your father made many people mad when he worked in newspapers and he learned that three out of four times, people forgive you.
You might think that tattoos make you “different.” They do not.
Remember that you are loved.
City editor Brent Lancaster can be reached at brent_lancaster at link.freedom.com or 506-3040. Read his blog at brentsblogs.freedomblogging.com.
